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For some, it’s a straightforward discomfort with gay imagery and for that, you might do exposure to gay-themed pictures and videos of gradually increasing intensity while resisting the urge to convince yourself that you are straight.For others, the fear is more abstract, having to do with a loss of identity or a fear of emotionally scarring your loved ones by “coming out” to everyone’s dismay.A good example of distorted thinking is the tendency in all forms of OCD to look at things in black-and-white terms.For example, equating the presence of one gay-themed thought with the self-identification of “being gay.” There is also a powerful tendency toward disqualifying a life history of being one orientation in the face of fear over being another.When you focus your attention only on the unwanted thoughts, their origins, and when you imagine they will leave, then you are depriving yourself of the other experience, a nice conversation with a friend.If, on the other hand, you can allow yourself to stop “minding” that the thoughts are there and commit to having whatever experience you are having, you not only get to enjoy more of your life, but you send a powerful message to your OCD mind that these thoughts are not particularly important and not worthy of intruding so aggressively.In both cases, it will also mean identifying what you are avoiding and gradually reintroducing yourself to those things. Dealing with the HOCD thoughts Critical thinking means recognizing when a pattern of thought is distorted and may be playing into the hands of the OCD.
Mindfulness skills and HOCD Accepting thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations as they are. The experience you are having involves both of those things.
Though it is important to identify and challenge distorted thinking in all forms of OCD, you want to be very careful not to use logic as your main weapon against the disorder. But in HOCD, accepting thoughts, feelings, and sensations seems like accepting a death sentence. If I accept a thought like, “I would love kissing that guy” then what’s to stop me from making out with my best buddy?
You can’t fight OCD illogic for very long with logic. Well, nothing really, except that you are basically only going to do it if and when you want to. I kill several people a day and probably sexually assault about the same number in my head. Mindfulness for HOCD often means allowing yourself to incorporate unwanted sexual thoughts, feelings, and sensations into the larger picture of whatever you are experiencing in that moment.
But then HOCD demands that women never admire the sexual attractiveness of other women (OCD is cruelest).
I’m even gayer than that Anyone who knows me well, knows I have a peculiar fascination with Clive Barker, a well-respected homosexual author, filmmaker and artist.